Buckle up everyone because Mercury Retrograde is a thing, and it’s officially been here since June 18 and dishing out even more chaos and confusion than what’s now considered to be the new normal in this already crazy Coronavirus world we’re living in.

Because Mercury is the planet situated closest to the Sun, its orbit is much shorter than Earth’s. About three or four times a year for over a three week period, Mercury speeds past Earth, and as a result, we experience a Mercury retrograde period, which brings a whole lot of batshit crazy things along with it.

This is an astronomical/astrological phenomenon that makes it look as if Mercury is going backward because of the relationship between both Earth’s and Mercury’s orbit around the Sun. But Mercury is not actually going backward – everything just feels that way.

I like to think I’m a reasonably intelligent man, but I do occasionally find myself doing stupid things. When I find myself doing more stupid things than normal, it’s usually when Mercury is in retrograde.

Mercury rules all types of communication, including listening, speaking, learning, reading, editing, social media interactions, researching, negotiating, selling, and buying. Mercury also rules commuting and driving, as well as moving parts, such as those found in cars, all formal contracts and agreements, and important documents such as book manuscripts or term papers, agreements, deeds, contracts, leases, wills, and so forth. Also all types of code, including computer codes, as well as transportation, shipping, and travel.

During Mercury retrograde periods these areas tend to get scrambled or spin out of control. There are more noticeable errors, disruptions, breakdowns, and complications with all of these things, in different variations for everyone. This is what Mercury Retrograde has become famous for.

Here are a few useful tips to help you get through this period of mayhem.

Mercury retrograde periods are considered poor times to do anything involving communications, such as launch a book, magazine, website, or an advertising or publicity campaign, or to launch any new endeavors for that matter, even if they are not related to the communications industries.

Don’t make any important moves when Mercury is retrograde. Nothing will be settled successfully for the future during these periods anyway – you will find it nearly impossible to nail down a plan. During a retrograde period, it is hard to get decisions from others. Even if a decision is made, it will be subject to change, either just after Mercury turns to direct motion or much later.

Similarly, a retrograde period is not a good time to sign any contracts or make any new agreements. Do not close on a house during this time nor sign a lease. Problems could crop up later that were completely unanticipated.

Don’t start a new job. If you’re a manager, if you can, hold off hiring anyone. You will have difficulty choosing the right candidate.

Do not have plastic surgery or other elective surgery – mistakes are more prone to happen than at other times, or when judgment is off.

Be extra careful when sending important documents. Be equally careful about whom you send email to – especially when you “reply all.”

Miscommunications abound, so take good notes and keep summarizing what you think the other person has told you or agreed to.

Mercury retrograde periods are notorious for causing computers to crash and for machines, appliances, and other electronic devices to show signs of wear, requiring urgent repair. Back up your computer in advance of any Mercury retrograde period.

Do not install new software on your personal computer until the retrograde period is over. Weird things happen during these periods.

Don’t buy or sell anything expensive. If you are buying or selling a house, expect problems, errors, delays, and setbacks.

Automobiles are highly susceptible too. If you are driving any significant distance during a period where Mercury is retrograde, bring extra maps and/or make sure your GPS is up to date, you have enough oil and gas, and verify that you have the correct address.

If you are actually flying somewhere, check with your airline to make sure your flight is departing on time. Have your luggage well-marked so that it won’t get lost or sent to the wrong airport, and bring your iPod and a good book to the airport, as there could be lots of delays.

Better yet just stay home.

Forgetfulness can be a problem during these phases. You are more likely to leave your airline ticket, ID or passport on your desk rather than put it in your pocket; leave your cell phone, sunglasses, or gloves in the back seat; or lock yourself out of your car or house. Forgetfulness can be a problem during these phases.

Couples tend to create miscommunications too – people aren’t always thinking straight during these phases, especially while sheltering in place for so long. Try not to jump to conclusions, and keep striving for clarity. Mercury retrograde is notorious for creating confusion.

It’s not all bad though. Mercury rules anything that begins with “re.” This is a great time to revisit, redo, reassess, repair, repeat, redesign, and reconnect with people, projects, and circumstances from the past. Reorganize your files or closets. Pack up old clothes you haven’t worn in a while and give them to charity. Clean out your junk drawer.

Take some extra leisure time. Leave yourself more time than you think you’ll need when you are traveling. Instead of making it stressful, plan to show up to the airport an hour early and enjoy that book and latte. Spend some time hanging with your peeps. Plan some mellow nights with your tribe, and be the voice of calm and collected reason while everyone else is freaking out.

And plan ahead for next time so you don’t get caught completely by surprise. The current and next Mercury Retrograde phases are as follows:

• June 18 – July 12, 2020 – too late, you’re in it now and doomed.

• October 14 – November 3, 2020 – bravely run away.

• January 30 – February 19, 2021 – shelter in place like you always do, because COVID-19 isn’t going anywhere.

• May 31 – June 21, 2021 – dig a hole somewhere and hide until it’s over.

• September 28 – October 16, 2021 – stay in bed.

Good luck!